Por lo visto, en el extranjero,
especialmente en Londres, creen
que los españoles tenemos un
lenguaje..."rudo". El texto que
sigue es un correo electrónico
que se mandó desde una oficina
londinense a sus empleados
españoles, para que moderaran su
lenguaje (lenguaje español, por
supuesto). No tiene desperdicio.
FROM: Group Offices London
TO: All Spanish Staff
SUBJECT: Improper Language
Usage
It's been brought to our
attention by several officials
visiting our headquarters that
the Spanish staff commonly uses
offensive language.Such
behaviour, in addition to
violating our group's policy, is
highly unprofessional and
offensive to both visitors and
the staff itself.Therefore it is
requested to our Spanish staff
to adhere immediately to the
following rules:
1. Foreign colleagues or
visitors should not be referred
to as "mira ese guiri de mierda"
or "passa de ese polaco".
2. Words like "coño",
"hostia" and other such
expressions will not be used for
emphasis, no matter how heated
the discussion is.
3. You will not say "la ha
cagao" when someone makes a
mistake, or "la está cagando" if
you see somebody being
reprimanded or "que cagada" when
major mistake has been made. All
direct or derived forms of the
verb "cagar" are inappropriate
in our environment.
4. No Project Manager,
Section Supervisor or Head of
Administration Chief, will be
referred to, under any
circumstances, as "el hijo de la
gran puta",or "el muy cabron" or
even "el comemierda".
5. Lack of determination will
not be referred as to "falta de
huevos" or "mariconez" nor will
persons with a lack of
initiative be ever referred to
as "capullo" or "acojonado"
6. Unusual and/or creative ideas
shall not be referred to as
"pajas mentales" in particular
when they stem from your
manager.
7. You will not say "como me
jode" if a person is persistent,
or "está jodido" or "se lo van a
follar" if a colleague is going
through a difficult
situation.Furthermore, when
matters become complicated the
words "que jodienda" should not
be used.
8. When asking someone to
leave you alone, you must not
say "vete a tomar polculo", nor
should you ever substitute the
most educated "may I help you?"
with "¿que coño quieres ahora?"
9. If things get tough, an
acceptable expression such as "we
are going through a difficult
time" should be used rather than
"esto esta jodido"or "nos van a
follar a todos". Additionally,
if you make a mistake, just say
so and do not say "que putada"
or any expressions composed with
the root "puta".
10. No salary increase shall
ever be referred to as "subida
de mierda".
11. Last, but not least,
after reading this note please
do not say "me voy a limpiar el
culo con ella" or "me la paso
por el forro de los cojones".
Just keep it clean and odorless
and dispose of it properly. |
